Everything, Everywhere, All at Once
On Monday we celebrated the Inauguration, MLK Day, and the College Football Championship game, but most of my energy went to my mama’s 75th b-day and taking care of my son who had spiked a fever. It was an everything-everywhere-all at once kind of day. And in so many ways, that is what sums up America right now: enduring democracy, hopes and dreams, wins and losses, sickness and celebrations.
For some it’s all very exciting, others are anxious or angry. Some are all in, others are disengaged, and a lot of us feel overwhelmed or confused by it all. But in talking with my middle school daughter and niece over the weekend, it seems that some of the advice passed on to navigate high school might hold some overlap for us right now. So be it high school or politics, social justice or everyday work and family, here are ten thoughts on trying to make it through.
10 Thoughts for 4 Years:
- Don’t spend so much time focused on the subsequent four years that you forget to be in the now.
- It’s gonna feel cliquey but you gotta Breakfast Club it; be friends with people outside your primary social group. In the words of MLK, “unity has never meant uniformity.”
- You’re not perfect. You will fall short. So when you do, take a deep breath and give yourself some grace.
- Have something outside the system that grounds you. Explore the natural, spiritual, service-oriented and beautiful parts of life that cannot be institutionalized.
- Cheer for your school. Even if you’re friends aren’t on the team, show up and support the squad.
- Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Embrace all your quirky interests, your own style, your shortcomings, and your strengths. We need you to be the best version of yourself.
- Don’t put too much stock in the parties. You’ll be included in some and miss out on some, but your presence - or absence - does not define you. That said, your actions at or away from them might stick with you for a LONG time. So make good choices : )
- Be careful with social media.
- When there’s a dance… dance. Don’t spend the whole time hanging out at the refreshment table or holding up the wall, feeling self-conscious and making fun of people who are doing the thing. Get out there.
- (This one especially goes out to my niece, my daughter, our country.) You are beautiful. And sometimes you will have to sing it, say it, and believe it without any backup vocals (a la Carried Underwood). Real beauty is not superficial or a skin-deep aesthetic, it is an action. It is the way you care for yourself, others, and the world around you. Hold on to your beauty.
High School is more than the sum of a college application and America is more than a political cycle. Whether your next four years are filled with pop quizzes or policies, working towards a dream or feeling exhausted by reality, let us not forget the full spectrum of experiences occurring everywhere, all at once, and create a world that has space for it all. In the words of the Reverend, “We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” Amen.
